TW4--Moonlight, pt. 2

No matter what he did, Sokka couldn't seem to fall asleep. Katara hadn't left until after midnight, and they'd been flying three days non-stop, so he should have been exhausted. But no matter which way he turned, he couldn't block the moonlight from his eyes.

Dammit, why was all this bothering him now? This had been the best day of his life. But he couldn't seem to push past the memories. Why couldn't he stop thinking about love, about the people he hadn't been able to save? Toph was fine. He had no reason to feel guilty about her.

Finally, he got sick of it. He slipped out of his bedroll—not bothering to be quiet, since Toph was snoring, and walked out onto the terrace. From there, he could almost pretend nothing had changed here; it was just like that night when he'd met Princess Yue on the bridge for the first time. Spirits, Yue. He looked up at the sky, but the moon was hardly a sliver, not the bright full he remembered. It didn't matter to his memories: suddenly, he could feel her lips again, only they kept mixing with his memories of Suki. And that was wrong, that was horrible.

Sokka leaned against the railing; he didn't realize Toph had followed him until her fingers touched his elbow. He started, but then he slipped his arm down so she could take it, even though she'd had no problem finding her way out here. It was just habit now, he guessed. And he hadn't grabbed his parka, so her warmth was welcome. "What are you doing up?" he asked, his voice very soft.

Toph shrugged. "I heard you get up. You make as much noise as a stampeding platypus bear, you know that?"

Sokka knew he was supposed to laugh, or rib her back, but instead he just looked at the sky again. With Toph pressed against him, it was suddenly harder to think of death, but he still wasn't in a joking mood. Instead, he sighed and slipped his arm from her grip and around her thin shoulders. To his surprise, Toph put an arm around his waist as well. Only when her face was pressed against his side so he couldn't see her expression did she whisper, "What's the matter?"

Sokka looked down at her, an eyebrow raised. "I was gonna ask you the same thing. You've been really quiet all day."

Toph tilted her ears toward him, her version of an incredulous glance. "I didn't want to get in the way, that's all." Her voice was softer than she'd ever heard it. "I mean, your dad... he actually gets you." She and her father had had a long talk after the evacuation of her city, but he knew she still didn't consider the issue resolved. "And you haven't seen him in so long... you should enjoy that, without me getting in the way."

Sokka screwed up his face, his dark thoughts forgotten in his confusion. "Why would you be in the way?" Toph just kept frowning, and Sokka searched his brain for the right words. He'd never had a problem explaining things to her before—he knew her better than himself, knew how to shape his phrases so she'd understand—but all of a sudden he was as tongue-tied as he'd ever been around Yue or Suki. When the words came, they came slowly, reluctantly."Toph, you're... you're just as important to me as they are. Maybe—maybe in a different way," he was only starting to realize just how different, "but still. I want... I want you to be with them as much as I want to be with them myself." He wrinkled his nose. "Does that make sense?"

Toph cocked her head to the side. After a moment, she shrugged. "Not really. But I think I get what you mean." She blushed. "I want my dad to like you too."

Sokka ran his fingers over her cheek. In the moonlight, she was just a pale shadow, hardly the powerful earthbender she was in her own turf. And she was still so small... she'd punch him for saying that, but she was. Toph tilted her head back, toward his face. "What?"

After a moment, Sokka took her hand. "I want to show you something." And he did—more than he'd ever wanted anything. He wanted to show her there was a place for her in his world, that there would always be a place for her.

Toph, of course, couldn't sense his urgency; she just frowned. "Sokka, it's... what, two in the morning?"

Sokka smiled slightly. "That just means there won't be anybody there to bother us. Come on, you'll like this." Toph's frown deepened, but after a moment she let him pull her back into the room and out the front door.

***

Sokka refused to tell her where they were going; every time she asked, he just told her she had to wait and see. Nothing pissed her off more, of course, but he was the only solid thing she had in this damn place, so she went along with it. And... if she were totally honest with herself, she didn't mind. The way he'd spoken to her up on the balcony had been different than usual, in some way she couldn't explain. And when he touched her...

She blushed again at the thought and clung more tightly to his arm.

Finally, they came to a place that smelled of wood, not ice. "It's a little door, so you have to duck, all right?" he said softly. He bent down to show her the height and went through first, then pulled her after.

When she stepped through, she smelled seawater and ancient wood—and grass, and freshly overturned earth. Her hands, trapped in bulky mittens, came up to her mouth. "Yeah," said Sokka. He sounded almost as excited as she was. "Sit down." Slowly, she obeyed. There was no snow here, only grass. She slipped off her mittens and dug her fingers into the earth, smiling more widely than she had all week.

Sokka's hands brushed her knees as he reached to take off her boots. If it were anyone else, she would have protested—but it wasn't anyone else, it was Sokka, and she still liked him touching her a lot more than she was willing to admit. The first one slid off, and Toph immediately dug her toes into the ground. All of a sudden, she could see him kneeling in front of her. Though not his face, of course. She couldn't tell how he was looking at her, only that he was. He took off her other boot, and she did the same with her other foot.

Then she leaned forward. "Hold still," she commanded when he moved back a bit. She reached forward, hesitating for a moment to give him a chance to move her hands away. He didn't, so she placed them on his face. She hadn't realized how intimate touching somebody else's face was; she'd never really done it. But there was his nose, broken a few times in this fight or the other, and his eybrows, raised just slightly... and his lips, curved in a smile rather than a smirk.

Toph quickly drew back her hands and cleared her throat. "Um. This is great." His hands closed over hers, pulling her to her feet. "The ground's a little colder than I'm used to, but at least it's dirt." She wiggled her toes to get a better scope of the place: it was small, and circular, and only the dirt on the very top was alive. The rest was frozen solid. And there was a little pool in the middle, with fish. Huh. "Where are we?"

"The spirit oasis," said Sokka. His voice was hushed, but also... sad. Toph frowned, tilting her head to the side. Instead of explaining, Sokka tugged on her hand.

"I can see now, you know. You don't need to guide me." But she let him pull her over to the little pool anyway. Toph bent down and dipped her fingers in the water—it was hot! "What's this?"

"This is where the Moon and Ocean spirits live." His voice was barely a whisper. Toph cocked her head toward him, but he didn't speak again. What was his problem?

Her mouth twisted to the side, and she pulled her fingers out of the water, wiping them on her robes. "This is where that Fire Nation prick tried to kill the Moon Spirit, right?" She felt Sokka nod; she was so happy to be able to see it that she didn't punch him for not responding in words. "And this is where Twinkletoes went all psycho-spirit-y."

Sokka laughed; he sounded as surprised as she was to hear it. Toph raised her eyebrows. "I just... I forgot you had stupid nicknames for him too, that's all." He knelt next to her; Toph fought the urge to press against him. She didn't need the contact right now, she wanted it, and those were very different.

"My nicknames aren't stupid... Snoozles." Instead of laughing again like she'd hoped, Sokka sighed. "What is with you tonight?" she demanded, standing up. "You've been weird ever since we got the letter from your dad—I thought you'd be happy! But here you are, acting like somebody just took your heart and stomped on it."

Sokka looked at her; Toph just kept scowling. After a moment, Sokka stood up and took her hands again. She tried pulling away, but he held her fast. "I have been weird," he said, looking at the sky. "Believe me, I've been wondering what's with me, too. And I think... I think I figured it out, that's all."

There was something different about the way he held her hands, something that made her blush. It was like when he'd touched her before—he was touching her. He wasn't guiding or protecting, he was just touching her to touch her. Like he wanted to feel her skin. Toph blushed. She was glad Sokka couldn't earthbend; she did not want him knowing how hard her heart was beating.

Sokka didn't continue immediately; he just looked at her, his whole body tense. Then he sighed. "Things have... things have changed, Toph. This place... it made me remember all the people I've lost—people I loved. And I realized something. As much as it hurt to lose them—and you remember it just about tore me apart..."

She did remember, and only the memory of that grief kept her from snapping at him to get on with it. That had been the worst part of her life: Sokka had had depressive episodes when one of their plans went badly and people got hurt, but he'd never been unreachable like he had then.

Sokka cleared his throat. "It... it killed me, but I kept going. I don't think I could do that if anything happened to you."

Toph swore her heart stopped for a second; her fingers went slack in his grip, and for a moment she could only gape. "...Sokka," she breathed. "What are you saying?"

Instead of saying anything, he leaned forward. He hesitated, just for a moment, and then his lips met hers.

***

Sokka remembered how wrong it had felt when Suki tried to kiss him that night at the Serpent's Pass. He had cared for her so much, had wanted to kiss her so much, but... it hadn't been right. This was. This was something that had been inside him forever, just waiting for him to notice.

To his surprise, Toph didn't move away. He'd never been able to parse out what she thought of him: if she really meant it when she called him "idiot," or if that was just something she did to avoid sentimentality. After a moment, her fingers closed around his, and she stood on tiptoe to kiss him back.

He let go of her hands so he could touch her face, her hair—they so familiar. He had touched them a thousand times over the years, but suddenly they had a bright new meaning. Her fingers tangled in his shirt, pulling him closer.

Slowly, he broke the kiss and pulled her against his chest, so he could feel her heartbeat like he knew she felt his. He ran his fingers through her hair and was dismayed to realize he once again couldn't figure out what he wanted to say to her. Instead, he kissed the crown of her head, her temples, traced the curve of her neck with one hand. "So, um—"

"Shut up, Meathead." Her voice was sharp, but only in that way it was when he was hurt or they were backed into a corner—was she scared? He found that almost as hard to believe as the flutter of her pulse against his fingers. "Let me... let me talk for a second." Instead of continuing right away, she buried her face in his chest. Only when it was hidden would she speak; her voice was both utterly matter-of-fact and more emotional than he'd ever heard it. "I've pretty much been in love with you since you hit me in the head with my belt. And since I had to pull you out of a crack in the ground that only you would be dumb enough to fall into. And since you yelled for me when I was heading back to Ba Sing Se and made me fall flat on my ass like an idiot."

"Only you could make that into an insult," he said, but he wasn't bothered at all. He felt like his heart had swelled against his ribs, so much he could only take short, shallow breaths and run his fingers through her hair. Toph blushed darker and shook her head. He took his face in her hands and tilted her face back so her sightless eyes stared at his own. "I love you too, Toph. More than anything."

Instead of trying to wiggle away, Toph smiled. And Sokka smiled back and kissed her again. All of a sudden, Toph started chuckling. "What? I'm not that bad of a kisser, am I?" he asked. He tried to sound offended, but he couldn't stop smiling, and she knew she saw right through him.

Toph blushed again. "No, the kissing—the kissing is fine." She grinned suddenly and pressed her forehead against his. "But Katara's gonna flip when she finds out. I love it when Katara flips out."

Sokka cocked his head. "I feel like I should defend her... but it is funny when you get under her skin." He paused. "Unless she freezes me to something. You won't let her freeze me to something, will you?"

Toph snorted. "How am I supposed to do that if there's nothing for me to bend? Come on, Sokka. Don't make me call you 'Meathead' again. You were doing so well." Kissing always was a great way to shut people up. Good thing it worked on Toph.